Tuesday, October 2, 2018

# 2 | Set Challenges

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                    Day 2/31 – I did ok. Perhaps I should spell out to you my goal for this month. Part of finding a better me is learning to focus on myself daily. Sometime this year, I saw the lack of self-care and kept a little journal, which I purchased from Amazon- I will look for it and share it here, in which I would list 5 things I did for myself for the day, 5 things I was grateful for, and 1 thing I admired about my husband. I would do this daily for like 2 months and then I stopped! I really need to get back on the train and get going again.

            I have fallen back to not “really” spending time for myself unless it was going to the gym, driving to work, working or eating. I am now counting these kinds of things as “activities of daily living” and so these do NOT count as taking care of myself. As part of my transformation, the ME I use to dream of being is to work on my physical appearance. So cute hair and some kind of makeup are my challenges this month. To keep me accountable for this challenge, I must post a picture on Instagram daily on #mizzpatricias, maybe here. Today I met my goal with just hair and lipstick - like yesterday. I need to do something different tomorrow.

            This might be silly for some people, but for me it is real! I ignore these things unless I want to take a new profile pic. That is just not good enough. I need to change myself for myself. I should be exactly who I want to be. It took me a LONG time to accept that I am a big girl. Then it took time for me to accept that I am beautiful even if I am a big girl. That I deserve everything that I want in life. Somewhere along the line, it became me being hardcore on the outside but still hiding on the inside. Fragile and shying away even from myself.

            I use to think that it was shallow or worldly to be a certain way; I do not think that is true. I think meeting your needs means a healthy, happy you. Heavenly Father most definitely meant for me to be happy in all things and in all ways… as long as I am not hurting anyone or buying so much that I add to the destruction of hurt… It is ok for me to want this. It’s OK for me to aim to become the goddess I was meant to be.

            I am at the point where its time to say goodbye to the thing holding me back, and that is me. Accepting “well I love myself, even if I don’t meet all my own needs”. No, that is not enough.  It has never been enough, and I will no longer stand for it. I do not want to wait for people to see the beauty within me, or put on a brave face for any reason. I want to be beautiful inside and out. I do not have time to put on a face; just being me is hard enough.

            What are you working on this month? Let me know in the comments.


This post was proofread by Grammarly


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