Sunday, November 25, 2018

# 11 | 4 Things I am Grateful-Thankful-Blessed With This Year


Like most of us, this is the time of the year when thankfulness, gratitude, and awareness of all that I have has been in my mind. I wanted to share with you the 4 things I am grateful for this year.

Dictionary.com describes gratefulness as:
warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful:
o   I am grateful to you for your help.
expressing or actuated by gratitude:
o   a grateful letter.
pleasing to the mind or senses; agreeable or welcome; refreshing:
o   a grateful breeze.

This post is a sort of grateful letter, to let you know/express what I am thankful for this year.

1. My partner in all things
Words cannot express what my friendship, relationship, and marriage to Alex has meant to me. Every day is a new chance to get to know something about each other, mend and grow our family.

Alex started to become an essential part of my life in December of 2014. Our friendship blossomed to the point where we were talking two times daily by the following December.

Pic from a recent monthly BIG date night

I am grateful for his leadership, his expertise, and his patience with me and my shortcomings.  I am also thankful for his ability to tell me just what I need to hear, even if I did not ask for it.

For walking with me through difficult things like going to the gym 3-4 times a week. His help with schoolwork that just goes into one ear and out the other. And, the way he is able/learned to deal with my anxiety.

I am grateful to be his wife. Though like most marriages, we do not live a cookie cutter life, I look forward to eternity with him. I look forward to learning more from him and being partners in raising our future children.

2. The person that believed in me, when I did not
Often it takes someone believing in you, for you to honestly believe in yourself. This is one reason why it is essential to surround yourself with people who only want you to succeed. I have such a person in my life.



His name is Joe. Though I met him when I was already in my mid-20s, he helped shape my life, he helped me understand new things about myself that I did not know.

He is there for me always, and if you do not have a Joe in your life, you need to find one ASAP. 😊 I don’t mind being your Joe, as you learn to believe in yourself more than you already do.

When I was diagnosed with mild depression in 2014, he told me to try meditation and eventually a therapist. That is something that my Haitian heritage would have frowned upon.

Talk therapy was the best thing that could have happened to me, and without Joe's physical, emotional and mental support of me, I would not be where I am today in life.

One day in October 2015, he asked me if I did not feel like my relationship with him was that of a daughter and father. I thought he was entirely out of his mind and told him that I disagreed, but like many things he had the vision to see what I could not.

Joe is the father I never had, and one day I hope my children will grow to love him as their grandfather. He will forever be the most influential person in my adult life.

3. New Beginnings
One of the biggest things I am most grateful for this year is for this blog. I did not start off this year thinking about blogging. But here we are.

While Alex and I were on vacation at Yellowstone National Park, September of this year, he mentioned that he would always walk hand in hand with me and help me with whatever I pursue.

Pic from at Yellowstone

He mentioned that I spoke about a blog before, and if I still wanted to do it, I should. He will help me and support me with it. Less than one month later I launched this blog.

There is so much to learn about growing a blog and making it a successful business. It will take hard work and dedication. I am looking forward to building this blog and creating helpful tools for my new blog friends, meaning you 😊.

4. You, my new blog friends
When you become actively aware of what you are grateful for in this world, you can value all that you have and more. One of the new BUT essential thing in my life that I have not shared my thankfulness for is you.

When I write, I think of you. You give me purpose, you give me hope. Sharing with you the many things that have happened to me helps me to remember where I have been. The things I have learned over the years, and things I am still learning now including my hopes and dreams, makes you a valuable part of my life.
  
Pic from Thanksgiving dinner

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving 😊. This year my heart turns to my husband, my father by love, my new blog journey, and you my dear friends. Thank you all for being part of my life. Thank you for taking the time to get to know me.

If you have not done so yet, think about what you are grateful for, and share one or a few with me here in the comments or on Instagram @MizzPatricias.

thankful, grateful, gratitude, count your blessings, be grateful
Liked this post? Pin it now! _

This post was proofread by Grammarly

Tuesday, November 20, 2018

# 10 | How to be Confident With Yourself in 3 Steps

The question of how I became so confident in my skin is one I get a lot from either another big beautiful woman who is trying to find herself or friends. Sometimes I feel like people just don't understand how a plus sized woman can be happy to be herself.

The truth is, I was not born this way. I faked it for a long, long, long time. I am grateful and thrilled that these days, I don't usually have to fake it 90% of the time. I am a human being, I will always have fear, the important thing is I have learned to control it and continue to work getting better control of those fears.

Since the age of 12-13 years old, I have been at least 300 pounds. It has been nearly 20 years since I hit this stage in life. Many tried to bring me down about it, and many have succeeded. It took me about 14 years later to be confident in my skin.

Here’s why:

  1. Bullies:
I had lots of bullies in my adolescent life. When I think about it, even in my adult life, there has always been someone around that tried to take from me what was not there's. And to be frank, I lost a lot from it.

you're fat stop eating image

  1. Entertainment/TV Shows:
While I was growing up, TV shows made fun of the FAT girl in every skit. Even if their version of FAT is even SMALLER than my idea of skinny! It did not start in the 90s.

This image is from this link
Ladies, if you don't already know this apartment :), meet the
"The Mary Tyler’s Moore Show” apartment from the 1970s. And ladies,
see that woman in the yellow sweater? You guessed it, she is the FAT
character. Her name is Rhonda. Her weight is often brought up
by several other characters, and she questions her self-worth often.

  1. Magazines/Social Media:
Magazines are either bleaching colored women to make them lighter, to appeal to a fairer audience, or they are photoshopping the cellulite of the thighs of ordinary women. It seems magazines will do anything to sale a copy. Let’s not forget the blunt “weight loss” some of these women experience during the editing of a picture.

plus-size-celebrity-photoshopped-thinner-project-harpoon-thinnerbeauty-9

The list of WHY it took me a long time to become confident in my own skin could go on forever! I much rather point out to you three things that helped me gain self-confidence and love myself for who I am.

How I became the person I am today:

  1. Faked it:
Before I could look you in the eyes and say, I love myself for who I am, I lied through my teeth. After years of being call everything under the sun about my weight or anything else people disliked about me, I believed it.

I believed I was ugly, I believed I had no worth, I believed that I deserved all the hate that came my way. I believed I would never be happy, and never be accepted or appreciated in this life.

When I was about 17, I said SCREW THIS! And started to just stare bullies down, like yes, I am the biggest person in this room, don't you think I already know that? Don’t you think EVERYONE already knows that? Must you state the obvious? And who the heck are you? Do you think you deserve the power to degrade me and make me feel less than human? Be gone evil one.

I was scared, afraid I would be hurt once again. But, in making pretend I was strong, that whatever was being said was just bouncing off me, the bullies backed down, and it eventually mostly stopped.

With this new-found superpower, I decided I needed to lie to myself too. Even if I did not honestly believe it, I tried to find someone nice about myself that I could admire.

I started to look in the mirror and realize say things like I have pretty eyes, check out my lips. Those are lips people pay good money for. Check out those ASSets!  I mean really, this baby got back! No padding required!!

My church has something they have young women recite every Sunday together. At some point, I would repeat the first line to myself in the mirror.
                       

I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father, who loves me, and I love Him.
The theme is longer than this, click here for the full version

Being the daughter of THE KING, means I am worth something to at least one person. And if one person can see my worth, so can I.

Eventually, that Mantra pulled me from the dark. It did not happen overnight, but once I decided I was worth something, you better believe I faked confidence till the day I radiated it from inside out

  1. Work on it daily:
The world has not changed, every day there is something out there ready to creep in my heart and remind me where I came from. It’s my job to daily remind myself, HEY LADY, you are beautiful, you are smart, you are worth it all.


I know it will be a lifelong journey, and I am ready for it. The enemy takes no break, why should I or you? So, I take a selfie nearly daily, forced to look at myself no matter what. 
The simple fact is this -  if you don’t believe in yourself, how can you expect anyone else to?

  1. Help a fellow sister in need:
We are all in different stages of our lives. When you see someone somewhere (emotionally, intellectually, etc.) you use to be, don't be afraid to take them by the hand and help them stand on their own two feet. Don't be pushy! Be a friend!
This is the reason why I created this blog. I have been through hell and hope to help one of my fellow sisters get out of their hell.  I am not looking to help the world. I am just looking for the one.



This does not sound sexy, I know. But you can do the same thing starting today. Every time someone tells you that you look great or you did a good job, say thank you and believe it. Every time you pass a mirror say one kind thing about yourself and BELIEVE it. Give love to someone else in need.

There is no reason for you to continue suffering if you are. No matter what your trial is, you are of worth, and there is light at the end of the tunnel. You just need to put in the mental and emotional elbow grease needed to become the lady you know that you are.


self confidence, how to gain self confidence, self love, self care, self esteem, how to build self confidence, how to build self esteem. How to be Confident With Yourself in 3 Steps |  Confidence comes from contemplation about what has hurt. Once you know, you can work on fixing your issues, and building up your self-love and confidence.
Liked this post? Pin it now! _


This post was proofread by Grammarly

Thursday, November 15, 2018

# 9 | Find Your Mantra, Then Own It


When it comes to entertainment, I find that I must swap them out or I get burnt out! I started with YouTube 2005, Hulu 2008-9, Netflix 2010-11, audiobooks 2013. Rotating the source can happen several times a month. I bet other people are like that too! I must say that I think audiobooks are my favorite. I love imagining the words of the author and getting emotional about the scenes. Recently, while listening to a book called, Birds of a Feather by Jacqueline Winspear. (It's part of a series called “Maisie Dobbs”). Maisie said something near the end that had me pondering.


“May I not sit in judgment.
May my decisions be for the good of all concerned.
May my work bring peace.”

(picture credit: https://pixabay.com)

What a beautiful mantra! It is something I have now add to my daily life, especially when I am upset. My husband recently told me that he thought I was a bit judging of others, even if I only share the thoughts with him or they happen in my mind. I, of course, disagreed with him, but it has stuck in my mind.

May my thoughts be good of others
May my choices live in tune with the spirit
May my labors lighten loads of those around me
May my actions bring me peace


I have a poster of this Mantra waiting for you below.


I love a good audiobook and find myself listening to them throughout the week. Sometimes, is just for mindless white noise, at other times, a fictional character says something that hits me at the core. Which sends my mind wondering and exploring the depths of the topic! I am often in awe that something unreligious, something unimportant, something fiction can impact me so much. When they say, watch out to what you surround yourself with, be careful what you watch, pay attention to the music you listen to, they mean it!  These things do affect you even if you are not aware.


I am so happy that I found this quote, and have been able to modify it for myself, this is what life is all about. Learn and assimilate what you learn, to make it yours. Examine the things that make you pause. Find out what about it made your busy day stop? How can you make it a part of your life? How can it help you improve yourself? Capture the catalyst on paper, and write out the thoughts.


I plan to repeat my version of the mantra to myself every morning in the mirror 3-5 times. Perhaps I should record it and repeat it with the recording? So I have something to lead me through the chant as I learn the phrases. The possibilities are endless! I want to see if repeating this mantra will make me a happier person, who finds only kind words, thoughts and actions to do for others. I will have to do an update post on this.


Life is too short. Find what makes your passion rise, what moves you and act on it.  I have attached a printable version of the mantra for you. May it also bring you peace.

Liked this post? Pin it now!  _ 

Don't forget to get your own copy of this Mantra. You can print it or make it into a wallpaper.


This post was proofread by Grammarly


Tuesday, November 13, 2018

# 8 | Thank You For Being There - Milestone #1

When you start a new journey, you probably think one of three things, or all three. One, the end of the voyage, two how did you get there and three how did it start. Of course, you might think of it in a different sequence, but most likely these are on your mind. At the bottom of this post, I have a LINK to a checklist to get you started on your goal!


For me, I start with the end in mind. I look at where I want to be, why do I want to be there, and how hard do I want to work to get to that happy “end” of the line? Thinking of the end in mind or listing clear-cut goals makes it easier for me to get where I want to go.


When I started this journey of blogging, just one month ago, I had looked into my crystal ball and said, this is where I am going to make new friends, this is what I am going to turn into a full-time career and business. As I have earned exactly $0.00 from my new online venture, I am still shocked I made the decision. But I am happy I am on the journey.


Working towards that goal, I think of the second point often. What exactly am I suppose to do, to become a full-time blogger and launch a successful business, and work 100% from home or my own office? Girl, I already have decoration in mind for my office space… who am I kidding?


I spend my “free time” learning about blogging, learning about business, learning about what it takes to make this dream of mine a reality. Recently, my husband told me that all I do is talk about the blog this blog that. I am like a woman possessed. I have had to use Google Calendar to plan out my life because all the sudden I did not have time for anything else in life.


But, do you know what the essential part of this entire journey of mine is? It’s you. You are the one that will be there for me, the one that will root for me to continue in my journey. The one that will patiently wait for me to post the next saga of whatever is going on. The one that will cry with me when I am upset, laugh with me when something funny happens, or shop with me till we can shop no more!


It’s 100%  you, and for that, I thank you. If you want to start your journey, walk this path of self-discovery – and seek your own goals, check out my free checklist. It will help you get your ideas on paper. And that’s an excellent way to start!


I have been reminded that this journey was really about BOTH of us when I woke up for work about two weeks ago. I, of course, logged into my laptop and came to check the site and work on a few things. When I checked my Google Analytics, it became apparent that as I slept, my blog hit 1000+ views! Mind you; it was less than one month into my birth/creation of this blog, and only 5 posts.


Under the direction of my church leader, I took a break from social media etc. 6 days into my blog. He had asked for us to take ten days off, but I took 14 days away. I did not just sit on my hands. I did constant research on blogging, something I never thought of doing before








I learned about the importance of using Pinterest to get traffic. I learned that there are several blog communities out there, and I am still looking for the one I will be part of for good. I can not believe the number of resources that are out there for "new bloggers." Though I started this journey alone, I do not feel like I have to do it alone.


Thank you for being part of this journey, for helping me reach a goal already. Thank you for taking the time to read about what's going on in my life. I am making my dreams come true already. Whatever your goals are, reach for them now. Today is a better day to start than tomorrow.


I am looking forward to the next day I get to share a Milestone with you.


I suppose I should let you know the Milestone goals I will share with you.
Views count/Google Official: 2,500 | 5,000 | 10,000 | 15,000 | 20,000 | 30,000 | 50,000
Email Subscribers: 50 | 100 | 150 | 250 | 500 | 1000


Free Map Your Goal Checklist:

This post was proofread by Grammarly

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

# 7 | How to Accept Truths

Arg, why are the things coming out of his mouth making sense? I don't know about you, but when someone first rebukes me or brings something to light about myself that I was not aware of, I roll my eyes in my head and think WHO THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? And what army do you think will force me to do this thing you ask?

However, as some point, you have to accept that what was said is true. That patterns witnessed, recounted and explained can’t be eye rolled away. Though I might not agree with EVERY advice or things people notice about me, this one touched home.

"You do not follow through with goals you set," he said. For some reason, when my husband said this, I could not do anything but take a deep breath and agree in my head. As he ticked off each goal I set for myself in this last year, that I either changed or did not complete, all I could do was agree.

I posted the video below on my new YouTube page, and my Facebook wall page.  On my facebook page, my girlfriend Kara posted, "Do-overs are a wonderful thing!" How true is that? It's VERY accurate! Yes, I have been bad at following through with goals I set for myself, and it is time to change this.

Living life is not just about regrets or chances missed. Its also
about opportunities to do bigger, better things. It's the opportunity to grow from what hurt us, from the truths we need should not be afraid to face. The time is now. I am going to make right, something I did wrong.

         How do you accept the truth? First, you listen to the person speaking the truth to you, without interruptions. Next, you ponder about what was expressed positively. Then, you think the person for sharing the facts with you (hopefully, not of them were alternative facts). After, it is up to you decide to act upon what was share, or store in the back of your mind, for another day.

No matter what goes on, or what I am asked to do, every day of November I must do makeup and hair no matter what. I will post a picture each day on my blogs Facebook Page. Want to join the challenge?  Perhaps you are not able to promise 30 days, you can do 7 days with me.


"YOUR PAST DOES NOT HAVE TO BE YOUR FUTURE. 
DO-OVERS ARE A WONDERFUL THING!"
I have attached a free poster with this quote!





This video was recorded with my Samsung Galaxy S9+.




This post was proofread by Grammarly